Confrontation vs Evasion

I had a few thoughts over whether confronting an issue is better or should one just let nature takes it cause? Being in a competitive world nowadays, we meet different people from different background in our daily life. Thus, we can't escape from these challenging contention.

No doubt confrontation can be extremely uncomfortable; especially if the person tends to become anxious. Of course, confrontation can mean different things to different people. It may mean a disapproving look, a raised voice, or escalation to the point of yelling face to face. So, these could be the reasons that only a minority group of people has the guts to step forward to talk things out. Confrontation can become intimidating, but it does not involve a violation of human rights for dignity. Perceiving the difference is meant to help one to de-escalate the fear attached.

On the other hand, majority of the people, especially Asians will choose to avoid from matters. This is statistically proven in a research. Asians are not open enough when it comes to dealing with issues that had occurred, they tend to stay in the shadow, dare not utter a single word, even they are the victim. This is not a healthy practice as one will always be at the losing end & things will not get sorted out. Both parties will keep holding on to the thorns, pricking each other, till either party take the initiative to remove them. Yes, though it will take time to heal the wound, it is better than letting the thorns residing inside you.

Below are some tips & warning when you are dealing with confrontation:

• Do not mind read, do not try & guess the other person's motive. Assertively asking for clarification is your best approach
• Confrontation is appropriate when dealing with inappropriate behaviour
• Refrain confrontation and think of it as a negotiation
• Exerting control over another human being is beyond the scope of confrontational behaviour
• Learn to comfortably handle confrontation without avoidance may increase your level of credibility
  

So, which type are you? Are you the mighty brave-heart who sees no fear in approaching a person or are you the runaway bride who is always avoiding reality? Confront or not? The decision is yours!

Ramadan Kareem

The yearly Holy Month for the Muslims has begun. The Ramadan (Kareem) started 3 days ago where Muslims start off their day with Sahur (first meal of the day) before dawn & they will fast (no food & drinks) till Maghrib, when the sun sets. Ramadan is the time where you could spot many bazaars or temporary setup stalls in neighbourhood selling great varieties of savoury Malay delicacies – beef rendang, ayam masak merah, lontong etc. Of course, the tasty sweet desserts are to be found too – kuih talam, seri muka, kuih sago etc.

Dubai, is a well known Muslim country in the Middle East – famous for its 7 stars hotel, Burj al-Arab & being recognized as shopping heaven. I had the opportunity to visit this lovely place during the Ramadan and it is an amazing experience. The Muslims in UAE do fast like every other believer around the globe, reciting their prayers & having their Iftar (breaking fast) with family & friends.

It is summer in Dubai now where the temperature climbs up to 43°C during midday. One could feel the gush of hot air brushing thru whenever he steps to the outdoor. Despite the incredible heat, the Muslims, holding on to their faith, carry out their fasting as a sign to clear their sins & be forgiven. Being a stranger to the weather, I could barely tolerate the heat. A short distance walking to the convenience store almost took my life. I wonder how do the construction workers deal with the scorching sun!

Another interesting incident, a list of Do’s & Dont's was issued out in the hotel to each guest. Those that caught my eyes are below:

• Dress appropriately – you should cover your elbows & knees when in public
• Do not drink & eat in public between 5.54am – 6.50pm
• Do not play loud music in your car

I thought the above are just some guidelines but to my surprise, they are seriously weighed. I bought my dinner from an outlet in a food court & I was informed that only takeaway is allowed. After collecting my order, I found a seat to enjoy my meal. When I was about to take a sip of drink, a security guard approached me & told me that no eating is allowed till 6.50pm (which is another 20 minutes away). I then took a sip hoping he didn’t see me, but luck was not on my side – I was warned. I was not the only patrons being told off as there were many foreign visitors who are not aware about the rule. Everyone started to dig in as soon as the Maghrib prayer was broadcast.

This visit is an eye-opening one! Apart from the 20 mins suffering of staring at hot & aromatic chicken beriyani but not allowed to eat them, the short working hours during Ramadan is something to look forward to. The white collars basically work till 3pm daily! =) This is definitely a plus point to the superbly unbearable heat in summer! Do pay a visit here for a life time experience. It’s definitely worth while.

New Moon (初一）

Yesterday marked the New Moon of 7th month in Lunar calendar. I always have the thought of the presence of a New Moon brings negative energy. As the "yin" energy is at its peak, individual (especially the women) will be emotional & often suffers from depression! Thus, there comes the believe of being vegetarian every New Moon to ward off the negative "qi".
Well, actually based on Astrological studies, the New Moon (occurs when the sun & moon are in conjunction, occupying the same part of the sky from the viewpoint of Earth) is the time for new beginnings. This signifies the best time to plant your seeds for transformations - such as growing energy, newness, rejuvenation, growth, renewal and hope. It is a good point to make changes in your life too, for instance ending bad habits or relationships.

On a practical side, this is the time to start a new venture, initiate new business contacts, start an advertising campaign and visualize where you are headed both spiritually and emotionally.

According to studies, the energy of the moon is what guides us and is the directive force in living our true path. Working with the cycles of the moon allows us to position our creative forces in an almost serendipitous way. When working with moon energy, we draw in the energy of being in the “right” place at the “right” time.
The energy of the moon itself, also carries intuitive perception. Nowadays, intuitive perception is being used to fine-tune our life changes that we are all experiencing on the planet. Psychic and intuitive awareness are now being used to assist us in our life changes and transformations on a much deeper, internal level.

In short, whenever it's a New Moon phase, you may practice the below steps:

• Initiate the changes or transformations for yourself
• Allow your logical minds to focus on your life changes
• Welcome the development of new habit or approach in you (with consistent focus)
• Feel the changes taking place in you & acknowledge them
  
• Your logical minds remind you that there was an intent to change
  
• Voila! The new habit or approach begin to anchor its essence into your everyday normal life
  

Working with the cycles of the moon can be tremendously empowering and remove a lot of energetic resistance to manifesting your desires. Go out tonight and sing to the moon! She is simply sitting there, waiting to pour her golden light onto you. =)

Wedding Banquet

Yes, the long awaited wedding of Mizz Em!! It was planned over almost a year & finally the day has arrived. Being a high-school & also hang-out friend of the bride, I was among one of the privileged guests to be invited to attend the 3 days event. =)

1st day - Bride's Dinner
It started off first with an interesting dinner, held by the bride's family. Apart from delicious authentic cuisine, there were ceremonies & prayers to bless the bride. It was rather a women event - aunties from near & far, sisters & cousins were there celebrating the joyous moment & singing hymns. The men were enjoying their drinks & get-together moment. The dinner ended with everyone dancing & partying away at the dance floor.

2nd day - The Cleansing Ritual
It was a day where relatives & friends gathered at the bride's home for a traditional cleansing ceremony. The bride was cleansed using yogurt & turmeric paste, all over her & to be done only by married women. The soaked yellow bride then cleaned up herself before the next ritual took place - young children feeding the bride with sweet yellow rice. Why young children? It's because this ritual should be done by virgins. Next, the guests (mostly the ladies) were having a good time during Mehndi session. Their hands were artistically painted using henna. I've got mine done as well =)

3rd day - The Wedding Day!
The auspicious day began with a grand & momentous wedding ceremony held in a temple. Mizz Em, as always stunning looking, was gorgeous in her glittering saree. By her side was the good-looking & charming groom. What a perfect couple they are! =)
On the same night, relatives & selected friends were invited to the prestigious Royal Selangor Club for dinner & dance. All the guests dressed to the nines & everyone had fun & luxuriate in it! Superb night it was!

It's a wonderful & interesting experience to witness Mizz Em's big day! Congratulations to the newly wed & God Bless! =)
So, who is next in line?! ;)

他不愛我。。。

主唱：莫文蔚
曲：陈小霞 词：杨立德

他不愛我 牽手的時候太冷清
拥抱的時候不夠靠近
他不愛我 说话的時候不认真
沉默的時候又太用心
我知道他不愛我 他的眼神
说出他的心 我看透了他的心
还有別人逗留的背影
他的回憶清除得不夠乾淨
我看到了他的心
演的全是他和她的電影
他不愛我 尽管如此
他还是贏走了我的心 。。。

他究竟爱不爱我？为什么他的心还有她的背影？难道忘记一个人有那么的困难吗？
怎么办？是否应该等待还是放弃呢？无论如何，他依然留在我心里。

To Do List...

Each of us has a to do list, be it a daily, weekly or monthly listing. I personally do not have a daily to do list as my work & life is pretty structured. The people surrounding me is a bit astonished to find out about my daily routine. Some of them would compliment that I am living a healthy lifestyle, but some of them would tell me point-blankly..."You have no life!"

Of course I do have a life! I adore my lifestyle & on top of that, I have several special to do lists, which need to be achieved in my life. Since love is in the air lately, let me share the "Couple To Do List". It's just a listing of top 10 events that I think dating couple should do, at least I will.

• Taking a 28 minutes ride in commuter - during off peak hour
• Go for a romantic comedy movie - minus the pop-corn
  
• Peaceful & quiet dinner
• Cruising around coastal area, not necessarily having a destination
• Car wash - either hands on or the drive-thru
• Breakfast in bed - regardless who prepares it!
• Photos taking at the photo sticker machine - 5 spontaneous shots
  
• Car racing & virtual shooting at the amusement park - yes, the token games!
  
• A walk in the rain! Better if it's a stroll with snow flakes around!
• Surprises, surprises & surprises...=)

Do you have a list of adventures that you would like to get in there? It's never too late to pen them down & get them done. Remember, it's better to be late than never. Probably you could throw in some wonderful acts that I have missed out!
Finally, from the list above, how many have I accomplished? Well, it's for me to know & for you to find out! =)

Believe It or Not?

"Don't stay out till late night." Be extra careful when you are driving late night." Don't go for water activities if they are not necessary." - these are the few reminders from my mum lately as the lunar 7th month is approaching. Being grown-up in a typical & reserved family, I was warned to be extra cautious during the 7th month where the "Hungry Ghost" festival is celebrated among the Chinese.

Well, recalling these warnings, are they just merely indications to us so that we will be safe & sound? Or are they solely beliefs, superstitions in our culture?

• "Be extra careful when driving out late night" - aren't we supposed to practice this when we are on the road all the time?
  
• "Avoid water sports or activities during the 7th month" - what is the reasoning behind this? Lunar 7th month is also the monsoon in east coast, some of the islands are even closed for public use.
  
• "Keep the sun-dried clothes before sunset." - to avoid the 'beings' from borrowing them. This is what I was told. Why would one leave their clothes out when there is no sun?
• "When you smell the fragrance of Jasmine flowers, say your prayers!" - this indicates the presence of the 'beings'. It could be a passerby who adores Jasmine immensely?
  
• "Wash your legs before going to bed." - else the 'beings' will accompany you to bed & you'll have sleepless & restless night. Err...the elders want the bedsheets to be clean & last slightly longer?

There are plenty more dogmas that I've heard of. Am I supposed to adhere to each & every one of them? Hmmm...sometimes we have to act according to rationality rather than blindly following these ideologies passed from generations to generations.
However, sometimes there are phenomenons that took place where no one could explain, even science could not identify the cause. So, what could they be afterall? It's an individualistic perception, whether to believe it or not.

Needless to say, knowing me, I do hold on to the beliefs & myths. I do learn a lot from these beliefs & of course I have also seen the unexplained extraordinary scenes. =)

Girls Day Out~

This is one of the activities done over the weekend, at least once a month. A girls' day out - outing with buddies, fine-dining, gossiping, movie, enjoying tea & shopping! Of course, these prestigious activities are exclusively planned only for the girls!

The outing is usually planned at least a few days before, where the girls will start searching for a cool & hip meeting place. Dining is always a never to be missed endeavor during the outing - from hot & affordable street food to classy & pricey restaurants. Girls will always end up at different eateries, from Eastern to Western - American fast food, Italian pasta & tiramisu, Spanish bread pudding, Mediterranean seafood, Japanese sushi & sashimi, Korean kimchi & bibimbap etc etc. It is not an easy task to decide where to dine as each of the girls has her own preference.
"I don't take sushi & raw food..."My clothes will smell if we bbq in an air-conditioned place..."I am on low-carb diet, can we skip rice?" - these are the often heard statements, one of the girls got to stand firm to decide & be peacemaker.

Next, an act which comes naturally when girls get together - gossips! I am sure guys do the same as well. Girls will first update each other on how things stack up recently. Then after, girls will express their concerns on others - from complimenting colleagues & friends to criticising them on their outrageous behaviour. The tète-à-tète usually gets heated especially when the anchor is opposite sex, which girls would discuss inside out about him. This is the moment when you could see the zest among the girls, with sparkling eyes.
However, the girls do show their ugly side too. Jealousy, cynicism, backbiting, disfavour are part of the drama. They do piss & moan about their unhappiness - mostly it relates another female individual. Somehow, the girls do feel much satisfied & relief after uttering it out. Perhaps it's just a girl thing to share feeling among buddies!

Shopping is next in-line - this is another tough task to be achieved, as each girls has different taste in fashion & also spending power. The one who holds a platinum credit card & several member cards of high-end stores would suggest to visit designer boutiques, whereas girls who have limited spending power will rather call it a day than window shop - only get to admire things but not owning them. It is also challenging when all girls shop together, first of all, they will end up waiting one another. Secondly, girls will pop-up asking for comments - "How do I look in this dress? Red suits me better or black?". A friend will think carefully before answering, perhaps smiling away complimenting you. A true friend will give you blunt answer, which is not always pleasant.

Well, all the above activities could happen in a day, within hours. Sometimes, the girls will end up in disagreements but they do agree that the day spent is worthwhile as there is always something new learnt. Be that as it may, some might view this as a complete waste of time outing - increasing calories intake & energy draining conversation.
What do you think? How much time left do you have to spend your quality time with your buddies? So, treasure it!